Monday, June 13, 2011

Any good dentists horror stories?

The dentist I went to as a kid was a drunk and smoker, so he stinked and was kind of wobbly. He accidentally drilled my tongue once. Worse, when he was going to drill a front tooth, he gave me a novacaine shot and hit a vein instead of muscle, so my nose and one eye were totally numb, but my tooth wasn't when he started drilling. I called him the Hawaiian Mengele. As an adult, I don't have dental insurance, so I used to go to the dental school to get work done. One of my teeth needed to be pulled, and these little girl students were trying to pry it up but couldn't. the instructor came by, looked in my mouth, and said, "We're gonna have to break the tooth." He grabbed something that looked like a pair of pliers and said, "This is going to hurt--A LOT." And it did. I could feel the tooth break into pieces and yelled, "F#CK! That hurt!" loud enough for everyone in the building to hear. Got any stories like that?
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Had the three wisdom teeth that came in, impacted in the bone, pulled. It actually wasn't pulled at all, but chiseled and pried out. The first one took like 15 minutes. The last one took an hour and 15 minutes. When I left the dentist, I was amazed by the relative lack of pain. When I got home and my wife went to get the pain meds she had to go to a few different pharmacies. By the time she got home the novocain had long since worn off. I felt like pounding my head on the concrete it was so painful, and I mean that literally. I remember a moment distinctly, having my head over the toilet with my mouth open with bloody drool stringing out from my mouth. I felt like I wanted to be shot.
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