He will wait until the absolute last second to take care of stuff. Our 5 year old daughter wasn't on dental insurance for 2 years because he'd never get the paperwork turned in in time. So it cost us even more!! Finally today he's turned it in, but it is the last day they will accept. There is to much to list - that's just today. He says he wants a new palm pilot, blackberry, whatever for Christmas because that's where he keeps track of what he needs done..........but I don't want to spend lots of money on something he thinks helps him but really doesn't. Does anyone know how to take care of my last minute to the second problem (without causing a fight?)
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The key is getting that you will never get him to take care of stuff on time. This is an integrity issue, and something that probably goes far back before you ever knew him. Think about it, what kind of a person procrastinates, says they will do something and doesn't, etc? A CHILD. This is the behavior of a child, but the problem is you can never confront him with that or there will definately be a fight. He is actually regressing to a very young age by doing this, and has no clue about it. So the key thing is to determine when (5, 7, 8, etc) something happened that had him think that he has to put things off all the time. I can promise you there is SOME incident that caused it. So what you can do is say something like this, "Honey, I am worried about the safety of myself and the kids. When you put off _______ dental records for two years, it scared me because I was needing to know that she would be protected in the event of an emergency. May I ask, do you have any idea what causes you to put things off like that?" (This is called "Non-Violent Communication") And be genuinely interested. This isn't a problem. but it does create a concern for you, and that concern is the safety of you and your children. This will have most men actually hear you, because deep down we want to protect our familes. Then asking him (honestly) if he knows where this behavior comes from might open him up to seeing why it happens. Then ask him the following question: "Honey, for my sake and the sake of our children, are you willing to determine the root cause of your procrastination?" And reassure him that he is not alone. MILLIONS of people do this, and as I said it is an integrity issue. The key thing is for you to help him to see how it affects you, not just that you are pissed at him, but that you are actually concerned for your daugther's safety. This may spark him to want to shift the behavior. If he is open to transforming it, then e-mail me and I'll give you some suggestions. Hope this helps.
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