my husband and i have been toghether for 4 years and married for a year and a half. but out of the 3 1/2 years that we have been together my husband has been drinking. recently it has gotten a lot worse. there was one time i was working and he actually hit my sister when she was here helping us out with child care. and then i was on a vacation and then he was slapping me arround and when i asked him to stop because it really hurt he wouldn't stop and he didn't show any emotion and then i tryed to get away he pulled my legs out from underneath me. i have beged him to go and get help and to quit drinking but he wont. he absolutly refuses to do so. and his job dosn't help any. his job encourges him to go out and drink like there is nothing wrong with it. but the hitting part only happend once but he is more emotional and mental abusive which the things he says makes me stay because of how i grew up with my mother and my abusive step father beat in my head that i was nothing and that i would grow up to be nothing. which makes me kind of curl up my tail and take it because thats basicly all i know. i have two little boys and my oldest is 3 and he sees what his daddy dose and i have actually seen him ball up his fist and draw back his arm to his little brother which is only a year and a half and i know i got to get out of my situation get out start a new life and raise my boys on my own. on the other hand i am about 8 weeks pregnat no job. how am i going to get out on my own and support my kids and have another baby. he always throws threats at me and i tell myself that maybe he will change and get help but i already know he wont. he is just telling me what i want to hear so i will shut up about it. i just don't know what to do anymore. i have had thoughts that if i don't get out i might kill myself because of where i am but i don't because i know that GOD is there and that he is helping me threw this but how and when. and that i can't leave my boys with this man how would they turn up. he wont put me on his health insurance. he wont put his kids on his health insurance. he has me on his dental insurance but that only covers 1000 dollars a year and due to my pregnacys i have had decalsifitation with my teeth. so now i don't have my four front teeth. he wants me to work and then he dosen't want me to work. if i work he wants me to work and then come home and do everything arround the house. he dosen't like to be left with the kids even if i have to go to the store. i have to take them with me, when i come home from work i got to get the boys up and get them ready for child care myself because he throws a fit if he has to do it. he gose out all the time with friends from work and i am stuck at home i have no friends. i go no where. i have high risk hpv (very possibly i got it from him since i found out he cheated on me before we got married and i didn't know about it till after words) and he still wont do anything about putting me on his health insureance. what do i do. is there places i can call or go to help me threw this or am i just stuck???
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No you are not stuck, just leave! You have given him lots of chances to sort himself out and he has failed! You can't even get your teeth fixed because of him? No, it's time for your great walk into the light girl. From what you said in your question I guess you are in U.S.A? Don't know how the law works over there. In England we have refuges where victims of domestic violence can go to be housed and kept safe, you must have the equivalent in America? Take your kids and run like hell. Any poverty and hardship you have to go through to escape this situation must be worth it. Don't get that beaten down and depressed that you feel that leaving the kids with him is your only option. It isn't! Get you and your kids away from this nasty man. Do you want them to grow up thinking this is the way to be?
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