Alright, so I've always wondered about this. I moved out about 3 months after I turned 18 to a house I rented about an hour away from my parents... I'd been saving the money since I was about 15 for college.. My family is not really very well off so I've always paid for everything myself. I got through the first year of college, and got offered a really great internship, So I'm taking a year off of college to complete it. My mom hates that. She wants me to move back to our small town, live with them, and work at my old job (at a coffee shop). They hated the idea of college and said it was a waste of time and money. They never have the time to call ME (they've called me about 4 times since I've moved) stating that long distance is too expensive, but I call them about once every 10 days. I also IM them once every 2 days, but they never seem to have to time to write back (my mom doesn't have a job so she's at home all day). They also never come to visit me (I only live an hour or so away), and when they make plans to visit, they usually call that morning and make an excuse as to why they can't come. I have a car, which I paid for and I pay insurance for, but its at my parents house, as my mom says she needs it and I can't have it, so I have no other way to get home (its a fairly rural area.. No buses or trains). BUT The thing is, they're ALWAYS asking when I'm gonna come home. All through my first semester, they wanted me to quit my second semester and move home. Through my second semester they though trying to get an internship was a bad idea, and I should go work at the coffee shop for the summer. Now that I have this great job they're telling me I should quit or not go back to school. My job pays well, and I have no intention to EVER move back. So I'm kind of lost when I talk to them, because I have to make the effort to contact them, but then they put the blame on me for living far away and not at their house. Should they not be glad I moved away when I did? I took the financial strain off of them (they could hardly afford to pay for me living there.. even though they weren't paying for much) plus I pay for my moms car, and several other expenses like their dental insurance and new floors for their bedroom that they couldn't pay for. They're 50 by the way. GRRR sometimes I don't understand parents.
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Here's how I see it: They are "punishing" you for leaving them behind and doing so well at your life. I think your mom thought you wouldn't leave your car behind (I dunno why, like a car is more important to you than a life?) so you prolly surprised her when you said "Sure, use my car." They don't call YOU because that is likely part of the punishment - they think that if they don't talk to you, you will get homesick and come running back. If they want to talk to you, they can call you... keep IMing them, but if you need to cut down on expenses, stop calling them for a while and see if that changes their calling pattern. Also, they might be jealous of you in some ways, I mean think about it: you are smart, you are young and have your WHOLE life in front of you, you saved up money for college YOURSELF, you got a job that you are great at all by yourself, you are living in a cool place you like insted of being stuck in a small town... you are living your dream. Since they are in thier 50s or whatever, looking at you maybe reminds them of what they didn't get to do in their lifes. They may be jealous and resentful of you - but that is THEIR problem, not yours. Live your life and be happy. Also, don't let them manipulate you into moving back there. Ever. Period. It is YOUR life, not theirs. Being your parents doesnt mean they own you, it means that they should respect you and your choices, as you are an ADULT now. If they can't do that, well, that's their problem.
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